Cost of Purity
by MiathoL
Summary: Farkas is comforted by his Harbinger after the sudden and untimely death of Vilkas, and comes to realize he is free to live outside his brother's aspirations, while still honoring his memory. F!-Dovahkiin/Farkas Based on in game experiences.


**Does Vilkas die in everyone's game or do I just have really bad luck?**

**Poor Farkas.**

He came to her late at night, when he was sure he wasn't being watched.

Of all the Companions, Farkas had the most trouble with being a werewolf. He didn't like that rough, raw animalistic side of himself. It took over his mind, and made him dangerous. He wouldn't say he hated himself, but he hated the burden.

But that was not what Selenai saw.

When she joined the Companions, he was her first Shield Brother, and that was when she saw him transform for the first time.

And that was it.

She loved him. She knew he would stop at nothing to protect her.

But all she was a Shield Sister. And it is not like she had time for love, she had the thieves guild and the Sanctuary to run! And who would want an assassin as a wife.

Not someone as honorable as Farkas.

But Selenai moved up the ranks quickly, gaining trust and support and even admiration. Then Kodlak died and she was the Harbinger and for the first time, led her brethren to Ygramor's Tomb.

It was there he noticed her Amulet of Mara and asked to be married. Thrilled, Selenai said yes and then in under a day, they were.

She has never been so happy! Stopping the civil war was nothing to this feeling!

But she quickly shock that thought out of her head. She was the Dovahkiin, she mustn't be that shallow.

But she was thrilled!

Barely into their marriage, Farkas approached her. He said he was unhappy with his werewolf counterpart, and wanted to be pure like Kodlak was. Selenai was shocked, for this seemed to come out of nowhere. Though on a level, she understood. Kodlak was just about as close as a father the brothers ever got. How could she say no? It was her duty, as a wife, Harbinger, and Dovahkiin and all her many other titles to make sure Farkas was happy.

And so she accepted.

They got the head together and made their way to the tomb. Once inside, she led the way to the Fire, and they killed Farkas' wolf spirit together. He was free, it was done.

They parted ways, for he wanted to be a coward no more, and she had Brotherhood business to take care of.

She made her way to Dawnstar, happy that Farkas was free, happy that she could help, and not at all worried he wouldn't be able to protect her.

Not that she needed protecting.

But it hit her like too strong mead. Farkas would be going to Sovngarde, without her.

And that pretty much ruined her day. She had no chance of going, rather staying. She had been there but when she died she would not be going. One, she was an Imperial, and two to one hundred, she's done a million and a half things that would warrant her to be cast away.

She took out her frustration on her hit, a bit too sloppily than useful, pulling up a bounty in Markarth.

_No matter, they never liked me anyway. _

After looting much of the city in her spite, she made her way to Solitude to sell what she could. She arrived at the gates fairly early, around three in the morning, and all shops were closed. She was slightly tempted to buy a house just to have lodging for a night, but decided against it. Rather, she waited outside Fletcher's.

When the shop finally opened, and as she was about to enter, a courier ran up to her, stating she had received her inheritance.

Perplexed at who could have died and liked her enough to leave money, she opened the letter.

She didn't even read it. She didn't see how much she got. Her eyes dashed to the name.

Vilkas.

Vilkas was dead. And not two days before had she seen him. Her brother-in-law. In arms. Her husband's _twin_. Gone.

She had to get home.

She figured it may be best for her husband to know he had someone with emotion to confide in, instead of another warrior, so she removed her Nightingale Armor and replaced it with clothes fine enough to show off her high power and honor. She adorned herself in enough jewelry from her respective groups so that none may trouble her as she raced to Whiterun.

She mounted Shadowmere and fiercely galloped home.

XXX

The guards knew.

The guards made no objection into opening the gates well past the appropriate hour, as their Thane and Harbinger raced into the city atop the famous horse.

Whiterun was empty, and it was probably for the better as Selenai would have not minded in the least running over a few citizens, though it luckily was late.

She hardly waited for Shadowmere to stop as she raced into Jorrvaskyr. Ripping open the doors, she found it empty.

Lifting the hem of her skirt, and not used to this much restriction, she practically fell down the stairs. Not minding at all, she frantically opened the next doors, eyes peeled for her husband or anyone, really. But there was no one to be found.

She ran to the Skyforge and was disappointed again as it was empty too.

Where was everyone? What happened to Vilkas?

How was Farkas?

She mounted Shadowmere again and had him run as fast as possible to the Tomb of Ysgramor.

Selenai had nothing but time to think.

Vilkas had more or less been unenthused to welcome her into the Companions, and even less so accepting of her as their Harbinger. But why? True, Farkas said he was always like that, but still. She would've liked to think he was just looking out for a beloved twin, whose eyes caught the attention of the mysterious Imperial. It would explain the brief hostility; she was an assassin, and both Nords were high ranked within the Circle.

But as time would tell, that was not the case.

He softened up after they were married, and spoke kindly to them at their union.

_That was not even a week ago._

Selenai did not have the time to build the relationship she wanted to have with him. She didn't want to say she didn't trust him, but it is sometimes hard to look kindly to someone who speaks openly with disdain.

She never took it personally.

She began to cry. Her shock was over and it hit her. He was gone, with Hircine. The brothers could never be together again. She may not belong in Sovngarde, but that was what she deserved. If Farkas had waited a few days more to go through with his purifying, maybe he would've changed his mind.

Maybe he could've saved his brother.

Shadowmere seemed to know where he was going, and Selenai wept from Markarth to Dawnstar. She composed herself enough during the last stretch to the tomb.

The trip is a long and cold one, and worse at full gallop, but it was nothing compared to what Farkas would be feeling, but first she had to find him,

Shadowmere jumped into the recess of the entrance and Selenai entered.

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, but then she rushed through to the hall. She stopped and saw him.

Farkas had his back to the flame, and was sitting beneath it. He didn't hear her arrive.

She made her way down the wooden steps and Farkas looked to her. He opened his arms and she slid down into his lap, resting her head on his shoulder.

"You look beautiful. He never got to see you like this." His spoke softly but with a roughness that showed he had wept.

"I am still the same, no matter what I wear." Farkas sighed.

"That's what he was afraid of." Her assumptions were right. They were silent.

"What happened?"

"He took on an entire group of Forsworn. Not our thing, but he couldn't say no. They… there were to many." Selenai stroked his face softly.

"I shouldn't have done it. I should have stuck to my duty and my honor and stayed a werewolf. He's with Hircine and now I will never be." She shushed him softy.

"But that was not what you wanted. Do you really think he would want you to be miserable?" He thought for a moment, and whispered,

"I'm not sure if this is what he wanted either. He was the type that would want something but worry too much about the reciprocations. He always was the smarter one, he knew what would await us in death."

"But that doesn't mean you have to suffer. You love him, but you don't have to live through him." He looked up to his Imperial wife.

"These past few days I have lost everything." That hurt a bit, it showed on Selenai's face. Farkas realized what he said, and regret passed his battle hardened features.

"Selenai, no, I'm sorry, forgive me. I have not lost you, nor the Companions. I simply meant in death, nothing I would hope for will come to pass. Vilkas is with Nircine, I'm to Sovngarde, and you, I can only hope you will be an exception." He cradled her face.

"Farkas, I understand. You lost your brother after making a crucial change. I understand, and believe me when I say I am here and will never leave you. Even in death we will go down together." She looked into his grey eyes and placed a small, but honest peck on his lips.

"I only wish he had the opportunity to see this, to really see you. He was a good Nord, but was working past everything he may have had against you. You would have made a good Shield Sister for him, if only he could recognize it. But Selenai, don't feel guilty, he was only looking out for me, and I am wed to you, and we will be forever, so all his worries were in the right place." This seemed to be changing from her comforting he, to the other way around.

"I think we should leave to pay our respects to him at the Skyforge." Pressing off to stand, Selenai stood, shook out her strange dress and extended a hand. Farkas took it and stood, allowing himself to smile slightly.

"I know my brother would not want me to mourn without my Shield brothers and sisters, are you ready to return to Jorrvaskyr?" With a sullen nod and tight smile, they made their way arm in arm to the exit. Shadowmere was patiently waiting as ever, and didn't hesitate under the additional weight.

Upon returning, the Companions had filled Jorrvaskyr and were milling about with a somber weight pressing on everyone. At the arrival of Farkas and the Harbinger, they made their way to the Skyforge, where the usual funeral rites were to proceed.

It was hard for all, since Vilkas was respected by everyone, though especially though for his twin.

Farkas was beginning to lose composure as fond memories were passed around, but with Selenai pressing at his side and her waist around his, he knew that Vilkas would not be spiteful of her, but rather content that his brother would not be alone, and not without someone who loved him, almost as much as he had.

**:'''D First Elder Scrolls fic, sorry if it sucked.**


End file.
